(Source: http://dimaculanganpaolo.blogspot.com/2012_12_01_archive.html)
Our minds seem like their own person, talking to us. It took me awhile to accept that my thoughts were not always accurate. In fact, they usually were not. My thinking was distorted. It still is, except now I can recognize it and change the thoughts.
Today I am focusing on All-or-nothing thinking:
This means:"You see things in black or white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure."
I thought like this a lot. For example, if I baked a cake and it flopped. I thought, "I can not bake." and did not try it again. When I was little, Math did not come easy to me and so I said, "I am not good at math." and shut down. I did not try and study more, or give myself time to develop the skill. Because I was in all-or-nothing thinking. I am either good at something or not. Also, when I was struggling with my religion, it was either I followed all the strict rules, or did nothing- even went against it.
I'm smirking to myself now writing this. I gave up drugs and alcohol. Cigarettes are not required to be given up in recovery. But, I did- and it's a lot harder! Because I am either all in or all out.
The truth is that a lot in life is in a gray area. If you don't get something quickly, work at it. I try everyday to do "the next right thing", be helpful to others and do something towards my goals. Even if what I want does not always happen, I know life- and everything about it- is a journey. I don't know what's around the corner. I have got to stay disciplined.
By the way, after many burnt, under baked and tasteless cakes, I made an amazing fudge cake this past weekend. I'm not an amazing baker, or a terrible baker. I am somewhere in between, and getting better.
Assignment:
Notice your thoughts. Do you have All-or-Nothing thinking?
Write down 3 examples. Challenge them. They are probably wrong. Most things are not All-or Nothing!
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